There are a couple other celestial bodies that are also in retrograde that I want to dive into further aside from the 6 planets reviewed in the first half of my September Struggles post. While the following are not considered planets, from an astrological perspective they do hold a lot of power in influencing ones life and wouldn’t be surprised if these are probably more influential than the other 6 planets.
1) Pluto is in retrograde from April 29 to October 8. Sometimes not considered a true planet astrology assigns significant meaning to this planet which is known for causing transformation through death, rebirth and growth of thinking, beliefs and structures. When in retrograde, Pluto pushes you to face your fears and the things you have been resisting, including toxic thoughts and emotional wounds as well as reflecting on your life and the direction you are headed in life. This is a challenge that you are likely ready to face during this time, burning down things in the process to grow into something new.
Pluto is slowly moving through Capricorn. This is the time to harness inner power through gaining clarity on what’s worth investing time and energy into and releasing anything that is preventing you from stepping forward. It is all about implementing change into our lives through going deep into the subconscious, shadow work and going through a difficult transformation. During this transit, it is important to revisit significant moments in your life from March to June 2021, since the planet is returning to the degree points of that timeframe. Both the cardinal signs (Capricorn, Aries, Libra and Cancer) and earth signs (Virgo, Capricorn and Taurus) will feel this retrograde the most. I have both Capricorn and Taurus in my natal chart as my rising and moon sign respectively, so am not surprised I feel the energy to face the things inside me that I have been hiding and avoiding my entire life and shifting where I spend all my time and energy from work to myself.
For me, March to June 2021 was the most stressful time of my entire career and I was working the most I probably ever have for the most number of months consistently as well. That was the period I was doing well over 15 hour days and working pretty much every single weekend. As I look back on that time, and with a lens that embraces my dark side while looking at how I self-sabotaged and got in my own way, I realize several things.
By purposefully avoiding my inner truth, I see that I was entirely responsible for and put myself in complete misery. I was not happy with my job yet I put every ounce I had into that, literally letting it consume the majority of every waking moment I had. I was not happy with my relationship at the time, yet ignored all my inner feelings about it and kept going with it, while also not forcefully expressing my dissatisfaction with my partner. I have only myself to blame for not really trying to change that situation because I could have done so much more. I also was miserable with my complete lack of other things in life because I spent all my time with work, then squeezed out whatever little time I had left for my relationship, not making time for anything else!
I was avoiding a whole lot, keeping myself so busy to the point of exhaustion so that I wouldn’t have to deal with all the negative emotions of how much I hated my life, myself and the circumstances I created for myself. I didn’t want to take accountability for making necessary changes nor did I even want to face myself to figure out what changes I truly wanted. In my mind, it was easier to be mindlessly miserable working day in and day out, instead of doing the real hard work of asking myself the difficult questions and even more challenging aspect of answering them through action and changing my behavior.
Pluto in retrograde has been asking me what has held me back from my spiritual evolution. When I face that question head on now, the answer is clear that it was me, myself and I. It was only in July when I finally listened and attempted to initially answer that question for myself. It was at that time, I took action and did something out of my typical character and decided to pursue something that I wanted to do, for no other reason aside from the desire to learn something I was genuinely interested in. At that time I chose to pay thousands for a Feng Shui certification course and become a classically trained Feng shui consultant. I believe that was the best decision I have made in my life because that was the springboard that launched me into my spiritual journey.
For the past couple of months, I have not only decided to make changes but acted on most of them. I am now so very aware that I have way more power than I realize when it comes to shifting my perspective, thoughts and actions to the betterment of myself.
2) Chiron is in retrograde from July 19 to December 23. This is not a planet but rather a comet that sits between Saturn and Uranus with its name originating from Greek mythology regarding a healer and a teacher who could not heal himself. The placement of the comet in your natal, or birth chart, is supposed to represent past life wounds and karma that you carry that you’re here to work through to learn from and evolve to serve in others’ healing. The location on your natal chart speaks to a specific type of wound you carry throughout your life, which you are likely to be painfully aware of and very sensitive and insecure about. When Chiron is in retrograde you are likely to reflect on that wound and do some potentially challenging but rewarding inner work.
On my natal chart, Chiron is in Aries. Before I go any further, I’ll explain what that means for me, what specific wound it represents. My wound is related to my identity, feeling as if shouldn’t exist or be myself. This leads to problems with self-sabotage, crippling insecurity and self-doubt, many things I’ve already mentioned in my previous blog posts as the negative aspects of myself that I am attempting to get to the root cause of to change and heal.
Aside from it’s sign placement in Aries, Chiron is in my 3rd House, which lends to difficulty in speaking one’s truth. It is possible in one of my past lives, I was hurt by my attempts to communicate my thoughts, opinions or beliefs. This lends to my feeling very self-conscious when speaking, reading or writing, something I have struggled with my most of my entire life. While I enjoyed reading and writing since I was a child, I would be paralyzed with fear to read out loud, often stumbling and stuttering my way through it as a child and breaking out in a sweat if I had to read something I had written myself, despite the fact that I enjoyed writing and did it fairly well. While I have gotten back into writing more recently, the act of writing my dark truths is extremely difficult for me to do. It is not easy confronting my dark vulnerable thoughts by seeing them typed out in black and white and even sometimes makes me physically cringe when I review and edit it for publication. Even as an adult, I struggle internally when speaking, reading out loud, even reading my blog posts to be recorded for my podcast. I have been forcing myself to do all these things determined to achieve my goal of finding and loving myself so that I can pursue my passions and purpose in life. To heal this wound, communication, especially around my truth, is important and must be practiced and executed in all possible forms.
Because Aries is known as the impatient action driven sign I have felt such a strong sense of urgency to take on my Chiron wounds and insecurities in a fast and furious pace. Aries is not the type to sit with tough, painful, complicated feelings so it is no wonder I am feeling so uncomfortable as mentioned in the beginning of my first part of the previous post. Chiron’s retrograde makes me want to rip the band aid off my wound and move on with life. I realize now that trying to rush this process is opposed to Chiron’s purpose. I know I need to slow down and heal one step at a time.
Another critical thing I appreciate is learning to be graceful with myself during this process taking my time as slowly as Pluto moves. I know I will not change overnight and while I have been feeling frustrated literally spending every single day working on myself, deep down it is clear that this process will be slow and not unlike Pluto’s long orbit around the Sun. I must be patient.
It is also said that the gift related to this wound is the opportunity to discover my true identity as a spiritual being and to share that awakening with others. Is this why I was so called to not only do the spiritual work, but share it publicly through my blog and create a podcast for it – to share with others who may also be inspired by my journey and experience their own awakening through writing, reading and speaking? I guess only time will tell.
Chiron is retrograding in Aries so it is no wonder I am very much governed by this retrograde because it is not only that aspect, but also my Chiron Return. Chiron will be in Aries until 2027 so I will be going through this return until then. When there is a return in your natal chart, it basically means the planet, or in this case Chiron a comet, returns to the same place it was when you were born. A quick interesting fact is that Chiron return in Aries is one of the longest periods of about 8 years versus other signs have a shorter period with the shortest of them all being only about 1 year for Virgo and Libra. This usually results in being a major aspect of your life in some way shape or form. With Chiron return, which happens between your first Saturn return and your Uranus return, it is a turning point in one’s life by having major breakthroughs, completely changing their lives, transforming their careers, discovering dormant or hidden talents and gifts, and experiencing profound healing.
Here is a quick insight on Saturn return, which typically happens at age 29 and lasts 2-3 years. It is when we learn maturity and how to be responsible. However, Saturn has an overly cautious approach and tends to do too much that is expected of him. It is as if Saturn’s rings are keeping you locked in.
Uranus represents becoming liberated from the boundaries of society, basically whatever Saturn’s rings kept you locked into. A good metaphor for Uranus is a prisoner that escapes from a self imposed cell. While this return doesn’t happen until you are 84 years old, Chiron return is when we start tapping into Uranus’ insights understanding what society expects is no longer what we want for ourselves. It causes us to want to break free from any limitations and explore completely new experiences. Basically, Chiron return is when we get smacked in the face with a stick to send a clear message that there is more to life than working hard, paying bills and taxes only to retire and die.
Well, all of this sounds exactly what I’ve been going through lately! With my limited knowledge of both Pluto and Chiron before this post, I figured the two must have a significant impact on me and my recent spiritual journey. I had no idea after a full day of research on all the retrogrades how much I would learn about myself and how these planets and other celestial bodies have an impact on who I am, my deep dark side of myself and why I could no longer ignore the pull for me to do what I am doing now. All the retrogrades, but especially these last two explains why I felt called to openly blog about my raw truth in attempts to create a huge shift in the direction of my life.
GGibberish 