The Total Truth Letter, from Jack Canfield, is recommended if you have residual negative emotions or lack of closure with specific relationships either in the present or the past that you would like to release. The foundation of this letter is loosely based on the classification model that identifies six types of basic emotions, which are Happiness, Sadness, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Surprise. The practice involves isolating various emotions and writing one paragraph, long or short, on that singular feeling as if you are specifically addressing the other person involved in the applicable relationship.
With the premise that people typically do not express all their feelings when upset, this practice enables a more thorough process to go through all the emotions and peel back the various layers associated to the other person. For maximum therapeutic benefit, understanding of the situation and clarity on how you truly think and feel, do not filter your words or hold anything back. Keep writing until you have fully expressed everything inside. Feel free to express your raw truth using whatever language and words you want, knowing it will not be read by anyone. Continue writing until you are exhausted and have nothing else to write about that feeling and only then should you move on to the next emotion. The goal is to tap into your unconscious mind and release what is there.
It is VERY IMPORTANT to note the following: Do NOT write this letter with the intention of ever sending it to the person. This exercise is for YOU and your healing only. It’s not for the other person.
The following are the emotions and beginning prompts to use as the outline for The Total Truth Letter:
- ANGER – I am angry that/when…
- PAIN – It hurts me when…
- FEAR – I am scared that…
- REGRET – I am sorry that…
You’re not assigning fault or placing blame on yourself or the other person here. This is about how things COULD have been different, not what you SHOULD have done. Rather it is stating what you COULD have done. This gives your unconscious mind empowerment and more positive energy for the future. - DESIRE – What I really want is…
- LOVE – What I love about you as a person is…
- APPRECIATE – I appreciate you for…
Once you have completed writing the letter, it is up to you to decide what to do with it. However, as mentioned before, the one thing you should NOT do is give this letter to the person you wrote it for. My personal preference is to read the letter and sit with all the emotions and words of how I described everything. I will then ask God, Universe and my higher power team to take it all and help with further healing. Then I burn the letter to end the practice watching the flames turn all my negative emotions and thoughts into ash.
I personally see this fire ritual as an active form of release and transformation similar to a phoenix. There are a couple ways mythology claims a phoenix may die. One is to touch it with iron, which will cause it to catch on fire and burn or the other is that the phoenix will build a nest made of incense and sacred materials that it then ignites itself. I see my pen acting like the iron that sets the phoenix, or in this case my written words of negativity towards the person, on fire, and the paper as the nest. From the ashes of my words, I then like to visualize, rising up from that, positivity and love that will surround my relationship moving forward.
I learned this practice from a friend who has done a lot of spiritual work and had used it to help heal and improve some of her own relationships. I have recently written a Total Truth Letter, but have opted not to share it directly in this post as the intent is not to ever let the person read the letter. With both my blog and podcast being completely public platforms, I do not want to risk having this potentially irrevocably damaging letter accessible publicly in the event it can be read by them or someone they know who may mention it that person. This is despite the fact that I do not believe the person I wrote the letter to reads my blog or listens to my podcast and the chances of them reading it is not very high.
That being said, I want to provide some sort of sample in case someone wants one for any reason. Here is a situation I fabricated and wrote an example Total Truth Letter for. The fictitious situation is as follows. A couple’s relationship is ending due to an incident of infidelity. The woman has cheated with someone else and it is the woman who is writing The Total Truth Letter to the man she is committed to.
Dear Joe,
Because I cheated on you and know what I did was wrong, I am writing this letter. I am angry that when I would talk to you about wanting to take our relationship to the next level and get married and have kids, you said that you weren’t ready. I was angry when I asked you for physical intimacy, you denied me for various reasons. It hurts me when you say no to my request to be intimate because I feel rejected by you. I’m scared that when you say no to me, it is because you no longer love me, find me attractive or want to be with me. I’m sorry that I cheated on you instead of ending our relationship first because that was wrong, hurtful and disrespectful. What I really want is someone who loves me, is physically intimate and ready to get married and have kids. What I love about you as a person is your intelligence, drive, and caring nature. I appreciate you for all the things you have done to help me, learning and growing with you and all the fun times we shared. I am most grateful for the experience of being in a relationship with you, which helped me determine what I don’t want in my future relationship. I do love you, but I am not in love with you. Once again I am so very sorry for what I did, you didn’t deserve that.
Jane
Hopefully that give you a good idea of how to write a Total Truth Letter. I know I have several that I plan to write myself for various people in my life and wouldn’t be surprised if I end up writing more than one for the same person. I’m not sure I can release everything in one sitting. It is my hope by doing this practice I get closer to releasing all the negative emotions I’ve kept inside me for years, some even for decades. As I mentioned in my WOTW: 7. Emotions post, I also plan to do another practice called Ho’oponopono as another method to deal with my lingering resentment, which I hope to do a post in the future about.
GGibberish 
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