North Node Sign

The North Node, which is also known as a Lunar Node along with the South Node which is always going to be the zodiac sign that is directly opposite of it, can reveal one’s purpose or fate that you are meant to fulfill in this current life as well as what spiritually may compel you towards that. The Lunar Nodes are the two points opposite each other in the sky that mark where the Moon’s orbit intersects with the Earth’s orbital path.  For me and my goal of understanding myself better and finding my purpose in life, this is equally as important as Chiron in understanding and working through. Per Cafe Astrology, where you can go to get your own birth chart, it says the North Node points to the qualities that we need to work on and develop to achieve inner balance and fulfillment.

As indicated in my What Does Mars Really Have to do with Men? post, I will also go over another person’s chart, referred to as Kali, who is born on the same month and day as I was, but different year and location to offer a comparison of how two people with the same birth day, can potentially be vastly different despite both being Scorpios. According to Kali’s natal/birth chart from Café Astrology her North Node is also in Scorpio which is the same as mine, so in this case we are not different and everything that I indicate for myself applies to her as well.

According to both our natal/birth charts from Café Astrology this is the description the report provides:
She is learning to be less self-reliant and set in her ways, as the path to greater success and satisfaction is to share the load from time to time. She tends to stick with her habits, methods, and things. Learning to loosen this grip opens her to her deeper need for transformation, intimacy, change, and regeneration. Qualities to develop: Courage to make changes, going all in, sharing, intimacy.

I am stubbornly set in my ways and hate having others help me and I am supposed to push completely out of my comfort zone to be more flexible and ask for help. I am trying to learn the lesson that if I get help from others, that I will be in an even better place than if I try to do it all by myself. I need to let go of my habits and change my ways, fearlessly being open and sharing the sides of myself that I barely even acknowledge on my own so that I can transform to whatever is in my destiny. I can say that through my recent efforts of my blog, I am way more open with even the most intimate parts of myself that I tried so hard to hide before. Because I have an unreasonable urge to control everything, I strive to do the opposite by letting go and entirely releasing this need for control.

To accomplish what the North Node indicates is supposed to be very hard and can even be painful. However, by working through this difficult journey, it should lead to true fulfillment resulting in a transformed and spiritually evolved version of self.

According to advanced-astrology.com, the lessons that need to be learned for those with the North Node in Scorpio is the following and my brutally honest perspective of each:

1. embrace changes
   • Since feeling secure and stable is the biggest driver of everything I do in life, change, especially if constant, is THE definition of being out of my comfort zone. However, working for my company for two decades, has in that time trained me to be more used to, accommodating of and appreciative of the benefits that change can bring. Do I embrace it, no, not even in the slightest bit, but rather I have gotten to point of accepting it as a way of life while still harboring negative feelings when it happens.
2. learn that your value is intrinsic
   • I’ve said many times in my other blog posts that I don’t think I or my efforts at anything I do is good enough so to learn that my value is within is a hard concept for me to grasp.
3. accept help
   • I’ll use work as another example of this, for most of my career, I worked overtime regularly and I’m not talking just one or two hours, but rather 12-18 hour days, many times because I refused to admit I had more than I could handle and refused to ask for or accept help in the rare instances it was offered. This obviously was my way in my personal life as well. Why? Because accepting help only lent more to the feeling that I am not good enough to do it on my own. It felt like succumbing to failure.
4. share
   • I have always been the first to admit that I am selfish. I hated sharing my toys when I was a kid and I don’t think I’ve evolved all that much from that as an adult aside from the fact that my toys are much more fancy and expensive. Being a financially stable adult, I am inclined to buy the same thing and give it to another person so I could avoid sharing it with them.
5. focus on how you can help others achieve their goals
   • There have been many times in my life where I have helped others and then grown resentful because I didn’t feel the same was returned to my favor. Because of #3 above where I have done things on my own, without the help of others, to try to achieve my goals, I felt resentful of investing time, effort and money in helping others achieve their goals. Plus my selfishness also added to this in that, if I can’t even get myself to where I want to be, why should I waste my efforts on helping others, which would take away from my own goals. This makes me think of the airplane safety announcement of when they tell you to put your own mask first before helping others put their mask on. If I can’t even get myself to be successful with my own stuff, I don’t think I should be helping others with theirs until I am good with myself.
6. let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore
   • Being stubborn and not knowing when to let go has bitten me more times than I can count and yet I still haven’t learned my lesson. I dig my heels in when I know it is the wrong thing to do, but I do it anyway. It doesn’t matter if I’m hurting in the process and letting go would relieve me of that pain, I still hang on. Only when I’m on the brink of breaking or circumstances somehow force me to, that I let go.
7. learn how to work smart instead of working hard
   • Once again, this is another area that I feel I am not good enough because if I was smart enough to have ideas on how to work smarter instead of harder, wouldn’t I have done that so that I could be like a normal person working only 8 hours a day? If I knew how to work smarter, I would do it, but I don’t so I revert to what I know and that is to work hard. I can say at work I am now more inclined to accept help and relying more on my team to find ways for our team to work smarter. I think one big problem I have is knowing when something doesn’t serve me because I think everything serves me in some way shape or form so I don’t see a reason to let go, even jobs that literally drained me of all my life because for example, they give me a paycheck and offer stability, so why would I let that go?

Obviously I am aware of how negative, bad and contradicting my way of thinking of all of the above is and that the right thing to do is change and do a complete 180 on each of those things. But if being aware of and knowing that I should do the opposite was all that was needed to change, then I would have done it already. The fact of the matter is, doing all these things goes against my very being to the point it feels wrong inside, despite knowing in my mind that it isn’t. I don’t know and haven’t figure out how to truly make the changes so that it actually feels good inside to do it. Or is that the whole point of North Node that it will never feel good and that I should do it anyway? I’m not sure.

The other thing that this website said that rang painfully true is that crises and trauma are to be an expected part of a North Node in Scorpio. It is through rough and difficult situations that one finds their strength, usually discovering that they are stronger than they believed themselves to be. And because Scorpio is the sign of rebirth and transformation, it is likely that one will rise like a phoenix many times over in this lifetime. I’ve always wondered if other people go through what I perceived as a whole lot of struggles, but then dismiss those thoughts when I see loved ones go through even more devastating situations than I have. All I can say is that I feel I’ve had my fair share of drama and that I have raised myself from ashes to transform many times in the past 4 decades of my life.

The Café Astrology natal report also indicates the North Node is in the Ninth House with the following description:
She is learning to put faith in something bigger than herself. She is brilliant at seeing the details and facts, but can be too focused on them to her detriment. As she embraces more life experience, adventure, and faith in life, her luck and opportunities will increase many times over. Qualities to develop: adventurousness, faith, enthusiasm.

With my current spiritual journey, I have been learning to put my faith in the higher powers that I cannot even confirm with certainty exist. While I always believed there was something greater than I, which growing up Catholic was taught as being God, Jesus, apostles, saints, angels, etc. and being more spiritually open to other deities and what I generally refer to as the Universe, I can’t say that I ever truly put my faith in any of these things until more recently.

I am painfully detail oriented at times that I even drive myself crazy. In fact, my area of improvement whenever I got performance reviews at work is to stop being this way because it is at the detriment of my work life balance and work itself. I spend way too much time trying to make everything perfect, when that level is never needed. I have been told to do things just good enough, 90% not 100% and not to worry about missing things or making small mistakes. This goes against my nature, drives me absolutely crazy and makes me so uncomfortable sometimes even to the point of physical discomfort with an upset stomach because it feels so wrong for me to do. Yet, I know this is how I should be if I want more peace and free time in my life. To say that I struggle with learning how to change this aspect of myself is a gross understatement.

It says that I need to develop adventurousness and many looking at how I used to travel more days out of the year than I did staying home may think I have already achieved that, but I don’t think so. This is because I always went places I was generally comfortable with and usually planned everything around it. Adventure for me is being spontaneous, going places and doing things that are scary or uncomfortable for me, without planning every minute detail so that I have that sense of control of the situation that lends to a feeling of safety and security. By that definition, I am not adventurous and actually try to avoid it at all costs because it makes me feel the opposite of stable, secure, in control and comfortable.

Since the North Node is directly tied to the South Node, I recommend reviewing my South Node Sign post in conjunction to this post to get the whole picture of how they tie together.