Trying to Get Back on Track

Outside of my weekly updates to my gratitude post, I’ve been allowing life to sidetrack me from my blog, which has really caused me some internal angst.  Almost every day since my last post exactly two months ago on February 16th, I have thought about things I’ve wanted to blog about and been frustrated that I let things get in my way from finishing even one post.  I have been writing, and in fact have over 30 drafts sitting in queue – many only having a couple sentences with a quick summary of what I want to subject of the blog to be about, but I haven’t spent the time to fully write out anything.

I’ve had several problems come up recently and basically allowed them to take over my life.  I had debated whether I should blog about some of them, but I don’t like the idea of blasting my problems out there for the whole world to read about.  It would feel like I’m complaining about things and unable to get my *ish together, and that doesn’t feel like the right thing to do, especially when I know there are many others who are in a worse situation than I am.  Then there are certain things that are too personal that I can’t even bring myself to talk about except on very rare occasion with specific people only.  I’ve basically reserved expressing those things to my therapist and a very few select friends/family.

I have been stressed out and losing sleep for the past couple of months because of all the things swarming in my mind.  Not only am I exhausted, but I’m plain tired of this one thing after the other mentality, waiting for the next thing to drop.  I do believe that one’s state of mind is part of what the universe brings to you and I have been very negative and expecting more problems to come because of my negativity.  I’ve been letting it paralyze me from doing this one thing that had started to become therapeutic – writing in my blog.

Enough is enough, I may be exhausted, but I realize not writing in my blog is adding to the already high levels of stress I’ve been experiencing because I have constantly felt guilty NOT writing.  I need to turn my negativity around and I think blogging can help me with that.  So I’m going to try to force myself to get back into the groove of writing and I seek support and encouragement from anyone and everyone.  I know I’m only human and that I will have my moments of falling and faltering, but I also know I have to pick myself back up and try again. Too many times, I’ve faltered and simply given up.  That hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I have also learned that I shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask for help when I know I could benefit from it.  So to all my readers, I would be encouraged by hearing from you and I will always accept any words of encouragement and prayers to help me get back on track.