Hello 2020

It is a new year, a new decade, and a leap year too. There are a few things that I am going to be working on this year:  more international travel, less perfectionism and seeking happiness in my current life exactly as it is.

In the past couple of months I found myself regularly thinking of all the things that I needed to get done and being frustrated with myself if I didn’t finish it by the deadline I set for myself or do it as perfectly as I would have if I had unlimited amounts of time.  I would think “I’ll be happy/relax when I finish A-Z”, but when I would get something done, there was something else I would add to the list and it was never ending.

A prime example:  A couple days ago I decided I wanted to deep clean my bathroom.  I planned and started to take a sponge/brush/paper towel to every inch of surface that existed within the 4 walls, removing everything from the drawers, cabinets, counters, etc. so I could clean inside them and wiping down every item within it, including bottles of toiletries, makeup etc.  I scrubbed my baseboards and corners filled with dead insects and cobwebs, every inch of the toilet including the base, the tank and back of it, wiped down the walls, toilet paper holder, shower curtain rod, light fixture, cabinet door/drawer fronts and handles, scrubbed the tile, tub, etc.  4.5 hours later, I was exhausted and still did not mop the floor or clean and organize the main cabinet under the sink (only did the 6 drawers next to it) and I was frustrated that I didn’t have the energy to finish.  I should have been satisfied that a majority of my bathroom was so clean I could have eaten off most of the surfaces, but I wasn’t.  I am neurotic and it simply is not healthy for me to be this way because I cause myself so much angst and stress, which I know is one of many reasons I can’t sleep at night.

I stopped to eat and then spent another 2 hours planted on the couch watching a tv series that I enjoyed forcing myself to let the rest of the bathroom be thinking how I needed to be happy with all that I had accomplished.  Of course changing my mindset and feelings is not as simple as thinking “be happy with what I did clean” but I think recognizing it and forcing myself to NOT spend another couple hours trying to complete the entire bathroom as I had planned and doing something else that also made me happy is a step in the right direction.

Does anyone have this same mentality as I do and already overcame it?  I would love any suggestions on how I can change my mindset to accomplish these resolutions of less perfectionism and being happy with how things are as they are by the end of the year.