Many may be familiar with Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” I took a course through my company almost 20 years ago on it and one activity was called “The Funeral Exercise.” I purposefully avoided and did not do the exercise because it felt too uncomfortable to complete. I didn’t want to spend time thinking about what people will say about me when I’m gone. But more importantly, I didn’t want to think about all the things I would regret, especially the things that I didn’t do. I couldn’t help but begin to have thoughts of what a failure my life seemed because I haven’t done anything significant, meaningful or amazing.
Last month I was reminded of this exact exercise 3 different times, so I knew I was being guided to address it once and for all. I had an idea that this would be the ideal post to publish on my birthday and kept telling myself that I should work on it slowly, but a month later I still haven’t touched it until now. So on my birthday eve, I started the draft of this post. Many say completing this exercise can literally change your life, but my negative self is doubtful of that claim, but I am forcing myself to do it anyway.
One of Covey’s “habits” says to begin with the end in mind by envisioning what one wants in the future so one can work and plan towards it. The ultimate end obviously is death, so it makes perfect sense that The Funeral Exercise has you plan your own funeral by writing your own eulogy. By doing this, it should help clarify true values and priorities, what you want life to be and what you want to accomplish before you die helping to keep you ‘accountable’ to stay on that ideal path.
There are many questions suggested to ask, ponder and come up with answers to. The recommendation is to answer the questions as if you already have achieved it. I’m including several of the questions and my own brief answers to them:
- Think of at least one person from each category who would speak at your funeral.
- Friend – one of my best friends
- Family – one of my cousins
- Colleague – My previous boss or someone from my current team
- Acquaintance – A random reader of my blog or listener of my podcast
- What would YOU WANT these people to say about you, based on what you want your ideal life to be?
- The different ways I made a positive difference in their lives from little things I said and did that I have long forgotten about nor realized it even had an effect to big major shifts and changes that I inspired.
- How do you want to live the rest of your life?
- I achieved and maintained prosperity, abundance, and wealth so that I was able to purchase my dream home, living with a feeling of unwavering security and stability, so I could focus all my time, energy and effort on the things that I love, bringing me joy and so many amazing accomplishments that utilized my wide range of creative skills completing all the different projects and ideas that I had always wanted to bring to life. All this while being surrounded by a tribe of people who I consider my soul family who helped lift me up to be the best version of myself that I didn’t even realize was possible.
- What do you want your legacy to be?
- As a successful blogger, podcaster and vlogger, I also published several books and other creative works that people enjoyed or learned from that resulted in my wealth allowing me to help others and animals in both big and small ways.
- What old habits do you need to stop?
- I finally stopped putting myself down, listening to the negative self-talk, wallowing in the dark emotions, letting my fears stop me from so many things, procrastinating, and hating myself and my life.
- What new habits do you need to develop?
- I developed self-esteem, confidence, positive outlook, taking risks and actions in a timely manner, loving myself and my life.
- What did you love to do as a child?
- Organize my physical surroundings, reading and playing.
- Did you keep doing it as an adult?
- Yes.
- Who were your best friends and how did those relationships impact you?
- All my initial friends were the social extroverted caring types who wanted to draw me out because they saw how painfully shy I was. In kindergarten, my first friend named Rachel, was the one who got me to stop crying after my sister dropped me off at the playground because I was so scared being in school. She was the first person to show me that my fear of new scary situations can be overcome and end up with good times.
- In elementary school, I had a good friend named LeAlda who was the first friend I spent time with outside of school. She was the first person I remember who told me that I was beautiful inside and out and made me feel appreciated. She was also the first to introduce me to homemade refried beans and is the reason I have such a fondness for it even today.
- Junior high school is where I made my first best friend, who is still my best friend to this day. She is the first person I could be myself with and helped to initially draw me out of my shell and continues to do so through the years. She is the person I look up to when it comes to self-confidence and love of self because she embodies that characteristic in a way that I have always strived to emulate and admired of her.
- In high school, I made another best friend, whom I had since cut out of my life because she taught me the very important lesson to respect and honor myself and my boundaries so as to not let people like her take advantage of me moving forward.
- In college, I made another best friend, a sorority sister who is also still my best friend to this day. She is my sounding board and lifts me up whenever I need it.
- If childhood was challenging, how can you tell it in a more positive perspective?
- Throughout my childhood, I was taught and experienced important life skills that help me be the responsible adult that I am today and even enjoy such as cleaning and cooking. Another big aspect of my childhood that has carried into my adulthood is around travelling. Even though I was usually miserable being crammed in a car with my family doing cross-country road trips, I completely appreciate all the time and effort my parents put into those summer vacations and is the reason I love to travel as an adult today.
- What were your favorite moments in school (elementary, junior high, high school, college)?
- ELEMENTARY – learning how to cook for the first time making pigs in a blanket, playing marbles in the school yard, getting a roast beef sandwich at a small deli down the street from my house, running away from the boys because they all had cooties and going to outdoor education in the 6th grade (I didn’t go in the 5th grade like most).
- JUNIOR HIGH – even though I was nervous as hell, I still remember how amazing it felt to perform Sleigh Ride playing my clarinet with the band during a holiday school event. English class with Mr. Jex was the first class that I truly loved learning including Greek roots which has helped me to this day, and buying candy and other things at the school snack bar that basically was the size of a closet.
- HIGH SCHOOL – Playing badminton in both PE and on the team, walking home from school, KFC potato wedges after school snack, and sneaking out to go to ocean beach.
- COLLEGE – living away from home having freedom for the first time, joining and being president of a sorority making friends, sisters and brothers, some of whom are still in my life today and where I came out of my shell the most and learned leadership and social skills. Living a block from the beach in a cute little cottage that has since been torn down and rebuilt, which was one of my most favorite places to live.
- How do you want your career to take shape?
- My career took shape through many unexpected serendipitous meetings and opportunities that was divinely guided.
- What do you want to be?
- A known blogger, author, crafter, multiple properties owner that I designed, world traveler, volunteer for animals and mom to several fur babies.
- What do you want to do?
- Write stories, books, blog, build furniture, paint, make stuff with my hands, decorate, organize, travel, make a difference with people and animals, build my own custom home, make a ton of money, and travel around the world.
- What would you like to have?
- A custom built dream home and other properties filled with people and animals that I love, one of a kind unique handmade furniture and décor, the latest technology and gadgets, my own beautiful photographs and self made artwork hanging on the walls and a bookshelf with all my publications.
- Is there a skill that you’ve always wanted?
- Fully lingual in a couple different languages.
- How is your life with your soulmate?
- Blissfully full of love and happiness where we have supported each other to become successful beyond our wildest dreams in our own personal and joint endeavors.
- What does your family look like?
- The love of my life by my side with several babies in our home – fur babies that is and surrounded by loving family from both our sides.
- What charity work was done?
- Many, many volunteer vacations with Best Friends Animal Society and Habitat for Humanity in different countries.
- What are your dreams?
- To rent an island and spend a week there with people I love; to have a private jet take me on a trip around the world; to build a custom home that takes Feng Shui into account in my ideal neighborhood; and to make a huge difference with saving animals (mainly cats since they have a tougher chance of surviving being put in shelters).
Then by having all those answers, write out your own eulogy. Here is a link for some eulogies of famous people if you are interested in having some to refer to. This is something I plan to do as a future blog post.
It is recommended to revisit the eulogy at least annually and recommended doing it on your birthday. The idea is to take at least one thing from the eulogy and start taking action to make it a reality. While it is possible that achieving everything envisioned in this eulogy may not actually happen before actual death, if taking actions each year to get closer to them, that will result in a better life lived. Finally, it is not necessarily about reaching the actual goal so much as the journey taken towards it.
GGibberish 
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